Cublington Cricket Club

3rd XI v Great Brickhill match abandoned

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:01:44 GMT

The 3rd XI's best ever season - Three Cheers for our Capitaine Extraordinaire, Gloveman Bullock !We finished a safe fourth in the league and but for tripping over in the latter stages against Little Horwood & Totternhoe , who knows where we might have been.........
Anyway, where to start in such a tumultuous time ?? 1st's Champions of Div 1 (Simmo, wot's this 15 degrees of flexion ?? Does it only happen in boys public schools?). 2nd's Champs of Div 3(Bank Holiday stag-hunting de rigeur for all team members next year).And then l'il ole us, our best season ever. But just to cock everything up for everybody - almost - we find that no balls can be bowled to order for money and that 18 year olds in cricket can have their lives ruined by a short term fix of filthy lucre on a scale greater than they have seen in their young lives before. At this point, you might find yourself asking what differance there is between such behaviour and prostitution or drug-taking: please let me know if you come up with a differant answer from me.However, we should all submit to the virtuousness of innocent until proved guilty and remember that this was a News of the Screws scam(be truthful, when was the last time you thought the NotW had got something honestly right?).It could of course lead to quite a change in your average sub-continent restaurant menu though:" No 63 please. Yes sir of course,coming right up; so that's 3 no balls, 2 wides, and 1 short run, and does sir want a side order of dropped slip-catch with that ? "
Meanwhile, on the field of play,we were facing a big but hardworking defeat ..until God intervened,raining heavily on Brickhill's parade, not once but twice, until most of them couldn't stand up! Poor old Bainsy looked like his bag had burst but he had larruped a 50 by then and everyone else contributed something through fielding, bowling,or at least holding their end up & scoring a few runs.
Your correspondant is delighted with his first (& only)wicket of the season, brought about by guile,a well flighted ball,the speedy reactions of Gloveman Bullock,and the sharp sight of their umpire. Those of you suggesting that poor Hastings fell over out of his crease whilst trying to wipe another slow, wide & high delivery to midwicket will be contacted by my lawyer.
So see you next year, folks.It's been an absolute pleasure...my wallet is empty, my head is sore and I will look forward to doing it all again in 2011!!

Cup Side lost to Bledlow Village by 21 runs

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 11:13:07 GMT

1st XI beat Aspley Guise 1st XI by 8 wickets

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 21:25:55 GMT

A comfortable victory saw Cublington 1st XI crowned as league champions of the Four Counties Division One. Well done to all who have contributed to the side's success this season.

A 'post-match' report: Champagne corks popped, flashbulbs went off and chants of 'championes, championes...' rung out across the hallowed turf of Orchard ground as the achievement sank in. A few 'refreshments' in the Unicorn were had before a 'quiet night' sampling the cultural delights of a local town.

Evening session highlights: the skipper getting a soaking courtesy of his respectful, trustworthy team-mates and a bin of iced water; the team rendition of 'cum-ba-ya'; an un-named team member being unable to withdraw cash due to a card/slot inbalance issue.

Champagne moment: a different, but still un-named team member redefining the term 'lock in' at the Unicorn, much to the surprise of the bar manager.

Chaps, it has been a pleasure. I bid you a peaceful and restful winter and here's to continued success in 2011!

Yours, with 15 degress of flexion, Simmo.

Sunday XI drew with Bledlow Ridge

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 16:06:53 GMT

Sunday XI lost to Bledlow Village by 25 runs

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:33:20 GMT

Strollers beat Bladen by 8 wickets

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:35:23 GMT

3rd XI drew with Bletchley Town 1st XI

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:14:16 GMT

You should read my report on this game from last year - must have been a barrel of Shiraz that evening! Quite amusing even if I say so myself but I promise I have never been on that website since, honest!! Anyway, it was nice not to lose to this lot for once as we have had some really disappointing games against them including one where we started with 10 men and 2 had to go at 6.30 I seem to remember and you really can't play cricket with 8 blokes : well you can but it gives the oppo a pretty good chance!!
Brilliant start with Alex cleaning up the first three victims and he is deservedly at the top of the 3rd XI bowling averages. They then got away from us in mid-innings as only Captain Loverocket was able to apply the brakes but sadly the rest got a tonking I'm afraid with the remaining 24 overs going for almost 160 runs. Extras was yet again in the runs with 33, of which 28 were wides - bowling practice anyone ????
We didn't start well in reply losing Matt without a run on the board, and Tim and Alex by the time we got to 24, but Bainsey and Lee put on 80 for the third wicket and we looked like we were creeping towards a draw-draw if nothing else. Sadly, a rattle of wickets around the 30th over and a collapse in the scoring rate saw us gasp to a halt at 129 off our alloted 44 overs, with only 25 runs coming off the last 15. Captain Loverocket proudly kept his end up with a 45 ball 9!
At least we didn't lose which is what normally happens against this lot as I said earlier and it's an improvement on last year.

2nd XI beat Milton Keynes City 2nd XI by 62 runs

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 11:45:33 GMT

A big score from Jamie set us on our way. Jamie's not out ton, the fifth Club ton of the season, included 13 4s and an all-ran 5 (should help with the weight loss Jamie!). He and Bam-Bam (9 4s in his 53)put on 139 for the second wicket and took the game away from MK and, with Jamie and Gilo then adding 39 for the third wicket, we were able to declare after only 40 overs.
Ricey the took the first 2 wickets to fall and at 72 for 5 we had the game for the taking. A solid partnership between their Captain, Stewart, and No 7 Lester held us up for 70 runs but then the remaining 5 wickets fell for 36 and they were all out with 8 overs to spare. However, 40 extras is NOT good enough if we are going to win the league next Saturday.
So, big day next Saturday then!!Only 6 points separate us, North Crawley & Eggington and as we are playing Eggington, and Crawley are playing 4th place Willen, anything is possible.If we win batting first we are champs (hooray!)but if we win batting second then we are up but Crawley could be champs if they win batting first. If we lose we could miss out altogether.
Wish us luck and very few extras!!!

1st XI beat Milton Keynes City 1st XI by 145 runs

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 23:05:05 GMT

2nd XI lost to Willen 1st XI by 7 wickets

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 08:19:48 GMT

3rd XI beat Aston Clinton 2nd XI by 77 runs

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 22:32:40 GMT

3rd XI lost to Crawley Green Nomads 1st XI by 128 runs

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 19:41:46 GMT

There is something painful about playing this lot, decent bunch of coves though they are. Last year we lost by 135 runs at home and then by 6 wickets down at their place (having been 0 for 4, I might add; although you probably wish I hadn't). This year we have lost by 8 wickets at home and now by 128 runs down there. Sooner they get promoted the better I say !
Positives ? (A) Lee Rimmer can both bat & bowl on a stonking hangover but catching a bit vulnerable around the undercarriage (B) Jacob remains a genuine wicket-taker (C) We don't have to play Crawley Green again this year (D) They're over 60 points clear of second place Wolverton so they WILL get promoted!!
Roll on next year !

2nd XI drew with Stoke Hammond 1st XI

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 13:29:23 GMT

Hearts are broken here at Stoke Hammond. I refer the reader to my report from the Cubs game on May 9th last year for the proof. Well, maybe we didn't break our hearts over this disappointing losing draw but, having had the Brigadier give us a real "We'll fight them on the beaches" between innings, we did rather go phut after that. In fact, we phutted from the start...stuck behind a horse trailer most of the way to Wing and phutted along at 25 mph: got to Soulbury & the other two got stuck astern of the world's slowest phutting Saab driver. We dropped the first catch that came our way & it was that partnership between the openers that laid their base, slow going though it was at first, and rather did for us. We were tidy without being threatening and whilst they eventually found ways to get out, their total was on the good side of average for the ground according to the locals.
Tea was enlivened by Nurse Helen inviting to Quinton smell her wrists and whilst the rest of us looked surprised, Quinton just raised his big eyes and said "Mmm, you do smell of bonfire".
The Churchillian oration sadly seemed not to set us up like Jose Feliciano's missus but more an attack of Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb as we rather damply dribbled to a scorebore 157 for 7. When Tim was in it still looked possible but Giovanni had him,and whilst Ben & the Brigadier ticked things along, and Will raised a cheer in the asylum, it looked from early on that we would phut along to survival rather than opening the bubbly for another 25 pointer.
So, phut it was then but it could have been worse...at least it was just her old man taking the wickets this time rather than Jessica d'Agostino herself !!

Cup Side beat Turville Park by 8 wickets

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 20:40:18 GMT

1st XI beat Elstow 1st XI by 7 wickets

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 20:29:07 GMT

Sunday XI beat Vice Presidents by 111 runs

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 21:28:26 GMT

What a lunch! Unending supplies of Danish lager, Irish cider, Pinot Grigio, and lashings of Shiraz. Cold meats, succulent pork pies, new tatties in parsley, green salad, tomato salad, pasta this, pasta that, taboulleh (look it up...you ate it!), quiches of every hue,and then banoffi pie, lemon crunch, cheese & biscuits, and another flagon of shiraz to wash it down. Brilliant, but not much good for running about afterwards of course!
And so to work. Bill was caught out by a definite noise: Golders unfortunately hit the ball in the air and the ball lodged in Nick's clasped hands just as Nisbo was falling forward, comatose : being an estate agent or an Australian hasn't been much fun recently so we gifted them a few runs: and poor old Pip was in the scorebook as "Ct Ryder Bowled Pitch", somewhat unkindly I thought , given that the Brigadier had made the effort to bend his stiffened sinews parallel with the wicket. Anyway, I felt so bad for the bowlers once Tim and Westy had lost the sixth ball that the only option was to give Gloveman Bullock and meself a bowl and I thought we did a pretty fine job. You'll have to believe me because there's no room to enter the visiting analysis up and I've got the scorebook so just take it from me!!
In reply, the only way we were going to chase 308 was in a game of darts and so in answer to numerous requests for instructions from my team I retorted variously as follows: (a) "Grind them down, don't lose it though" forgetting that you can't grind 'em down and then not lose a 40 over game (b) "Give it a go but don't throw your wicket away", which Mark sadly forgot as soon as he strode to the wicket (c)"Keep supporting him but don't over do it" in response to a question about how we should back up Sam George's monumental effort. No wonder my lot were confused and, in fairness to them, I think the only time I gave a positive answer was when someone asked me if I'd like another glass of Shiraz.
Anyway, prizes to those Dames of the Empire, the Mrs' Mackay, Rodnight, Osborne and Westland for contributing most of the first paragraph: the 'Taking Candy from a Baby' award to Michael Westland: the 'Restrained, Classy, & in Control' prize to Tim Taylor: the 'WTFAIDH' prize to Simon Squires: and a special signed copy of ZZ Top's classic "Cheap Wickets" to Capt Loverocket (Editor's note: I think you'll find it's called "Cheap Sunglasses") (Writer's note: Score on both counts then).
See you next year!

3rd XI lost to Little Horwood 1st XI by 69 runs

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:12:41 GMT

2nd XI beat New Bradwell 2nd XI by 15 runs

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:03:37 GMT

1st XI beat Biddenham 1st XI by 5 wickets

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 21:05:24 GMT

1st XI drew with New Bradwell 1st XI

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 20:54:13 GMT

2nd XI beat Wilden 1st XI by 9 wickets

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:18:09 GMT

3rd XI drew with North Crawley 2nd XI

Sun, 25 Jul 2010 22:53:34 GMT

Your correspondant wasn't there, having had to got to work on Saturday, but the stats will show you that we "flippin' murdered them" as David Lloyd once said of an England v Zimbabwe game.
A little harsh ? Captain Loverocket, who I interviewed on Sunday night, was a little more circumspect. "Just couldn't get them out " , he said, whilst mumbling in to his beer that "they never went for it". Still, that's what you have to work out isn't it....tempt them with a few dobbers, and see what happens: if nothing happens , go through the card, until something does happen. In this way, cricket resembles chess...make a move and then counter...unless the oppo does nothing.... which by all accounts (Capt.Loverocket again) is what happened.
So, a bit of a bore draw but better than a kick in the undercarriage. Sufficient points to keep us in touch with Brickhill but me-thinks we need a win batting first against Little Horwood next weekend

2nd XI drew with Open University

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 00:18:32 GMT

Sunday XI lost to Ballinger Waggoners by 5 wickets

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:20:03 GMT

1st XI lost to North Crawley 1st XI by 2 wickets

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 23:29:38 GMT